#therapist!sans ask
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tehrogueva · 2 years ago
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Questions for Doc!
First of all can I give you a hug you just look so huggable-
Second of all, there is another therapist sans out there called Snap Sans! Have you ever met him?
(I was not aware about @a-v-j sans until after I came up with and Made Doc. But there's no rule that says there can't be more than one Therapist in the UTMV. Besides, Snap is a Swap and Doc is a Classic, so they both have different perspectives. I think it would be cool for them to interact, but that is entirely up to his creator)
Doc: I know of Snap, yes, but we have yet to interact. From what others have told me, he seems nice and trying to do the same kind of work I'm doing.
As for a hug, sure. Though not for too long. Dont want to have either of us get overstimulated
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triglycercule · 11 days ago
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mtt therapy moment except dust keeps taking breaks to talk to phantom papyrus and horror just wants this to hurry up so it can get to his turn because he couldn't give two shits about dust and killer's trauma and killer physically cannot discuss his issues and just starts zoning out while crying for some reason during it
and i'm the therapist listening to all of this writing down notes fervently because ITS CANON MATERIAL CANON I NEED TO GET THE CANON MATERIAL
#i have to break apart like 34 potential fights with my otherdimensional godly creator powers#i would be an ass therapist i will not lie. infact i would make them worse with my knowledge of their lives. never put me in a room w them#OH MY GOD I JUST REVISTED THIS IDEA AFTER LEAVING IT TO COLLECT DUST (hehehe) IN MY DRAFYS FOR A MONTH#ANS TJIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY HELP 😭😭😭😭😭 HELP😭😭😭😭😭😭#still real tho highkey i havent changed 1 bit. ITS CANON OMG WRITE THSY DOWN WHAY WERE THE EXACT REACTIONS#ive got these guys wearing microphones i got cameras in the room i got advanced psychologists watching to explain every detail#is it a therapy session or just a badly disguised interview#nooo nooo its therapy......DONT LEAVS!!!! (activates the chains (that coincidentally all are connected to eachother) (heheheheh))#now youCANT leave😈😈😈😈😈 not until im done asking my questions ASSHOLES. dont question the handcuffs that keep you guys together please#actually id probably get like nothing out of them because theyre all repressed and defensive and whatever. BUT im simply more determined so#tricule rant#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#fandom event if the mtt ever became real. we're all lining up to the facility to ask one question#world's hardest challenge: if you could ask the murder time trio one thing what would it be#FUCK idk...... id simply hav too many questions!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!#triglycercule do your homework SHUT UO RESPONSIBLE VOICE IN MY HEAD!!!! I WONT!!!!! NOT UNTIL THIS IS DONE#fall headcanons for the trio when. i'll think of them once i'm done with homework#see a reward system! now i have a thought that i dont wanna say in tags this will be going to the side blog#anyways! i think that's enough drafts undrafted and posted i REALLY need to do my homework#i dont even have that much it's literally 2 assignments but i know damn well doing 1 of them is gonna bring me to dream and nightmare's age#sigh......... i hate school bring me back to summer break i wasSO productive. SMH
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stellocchia · 2 months ago
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epic sanses poly angst <33333
The rules for the requests are on This Post.
I was hoping someone would request this one lmao. It's always fun to torture those three <3
---
Color had been silent ever since they found him again. It wasn't surprising, really (he'd been captured by Nightmare. They didn't know what happened, but it took them days to find him. And when they did, he'd been locked into a giant dark room), but Epic and Delta were quickly exhausting their options to get through to him.
They tried everything.
Epic had been on a roll with practical jokes, puns, and every knock-knock joke he could think of. He almost got Delta to laugh a couple of times, despite his clear worry.
Delta meanwhile had attempted to do some cooking at first (though he managed to burn the broth. And the tea. And the glass of water he was bringing over) and then he just sat down. Shoulder leaning against Color and talking. He told him about this cute new café that opened in the Omega Timeline, how perhaps they could go there. They had a couples' discount every Sunday! He told him about how he and Epic had taken turns sleeping on his side of the bed while he was gone because they missed him. How the cats Killer had left with them had been inconsolable.
He never got any response.
Color just kept staring straight ahead, face completely blank. Even the souls of the humans that usually appeared in a flicker of the flames coming from his head were no longer there.
"... Delta... what do we do if he stays like this?" Color had been back for a week. That worst-case scenario seemed more and more likely as time passed. Epic just needed... he needed a plan. Something concrete to rely on. And he wasn't in the mental space to come up with something.
Delta glared at him. "Don't say that" he snarled.
"But-"
Delta got up and, without hesitation, punched him in the face. Epic knew he was holding back greatly despite his anger, because, while it hurt and it made him stumble back, it didn't even send him crashing against a wall.
"We're not giving up on him!" Delta yelled. Angry tears were streaming down his cheeks, staining his bones orange as they went. Epic was pretty sure that was the first time he'd seen him cry. He was always so strong, so sure of himself. He was their rock just as much as Color was. Or used to be.
"But what if he's given up?! It's been a week! I don't know what to do! I don't know what to say! Nothing's working and I'm- I'm scared, dude!" his breath hitched and he could feel his vision getting blurry as his eye sockets filled up with tears too. "I'm scared...".
He gasped as something touched his hand. Looking down, he found Color looking up at him, hand wrapped around his. He was still silent, but he had moved and his face was twisted in worry instead of that horrible blankness from before.
"Color!" Epic and Delta yelled in unison.
They hugged him and it was still filled with fear and desperation. But he felt solid in their arms. He has there. He wasn't gone. And that was enough to let hope bloom in their souls one more time.
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a-v-j · 2 months ago
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WEEE NEED A DOCTOR!!! These bones are TWISTED!! Contorted, even..!! Elongated??? HORRIFIC.
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justanechoflower · 5 months ago
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Woah woah- Possession and Hypnosis-? That's- ahaha- giving me some flashbacks...
...
*ᵃⁿ ᵉᵉʳⁱᵉ ˢⁱˡᵉⁿᶜᵉ*
...
*ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵒᵘⁿᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵃ ᵇʳᵉᵃᵗʰ ᵗᵃᵏᵉⁿ*
Anywho! Since when did you have those abilities?
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Flowey: Now your turn to give me some explanation. What's this flashback about? Sounds interesting. *Flowey looks excited for a story!*
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savoryhoneybear · 2 months ago
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do you think he'd smell like depression sweat and musk or like. blue raspberry vanilla type beat. im down for the whole spectrum i guess. maybe skeletons smell considerably different. like. i hate to say it. but papyrus definitely smells like mayonnaise (he uses it to polish his skull??? i assume he did that as a dumb bit around sans but also who's to say) marinara sauce (theres literally spaghetti on him like all the time. everyone loves it so hes gotta have it on him even if he doesnt eat it himself) and magical monster sweat- dude doesn't take that gear off for weeks???? mood as hell. also haha stinky. same goes for sans- hell, probably exponentially more so for him. can you imagine the stench??? i bet he reeks. sniff. hah. bet he uh. bet he.. he's gotta be. uhm. excuse me for a moment *sniffsniffs ifnsinfinsiffnsiffnsifnfnsifnisnffifn
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fell-is-suffering · 6 months ago
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NEVERRRRR!
-Therapy-needing Anon
"fucking hell-"
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deus-ex-mona · 2 years ago
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little brothers and their will to #slay, man </3
#while yes yes this post technically does apply to the simp bros i wanna cry about my own bro in the tags so you have been warned~?#so to start off my monthly existential crisis rant i just wanna say that… i’m so so soo envious of my bro. like to a really unhealthy extent#he’s tall enough to reach the top shelves. i can barely touch them if i jump. he has so many friends and even a gf. i have 0 irl friends.#he is able to sit in one spot and focus on his studies. i can’t even sit down for a full half hour to *eat* without getting up to take a nap#he’s learning how to drive. i can’t. he was admitted into university. i wasn’t. he’s able to find what he likes and stick to it. i can’t.#like mannn. he thrived in the course he chose in tertiary education while i lost my passion for it in the middle of my first year.#he’s good at picking up everything he tries (puzzle cubes; bball; you name it he’s good at it) while i’m just. bad at everything i try lol#he’s very good at his studies (aside from languages) and sports. i’m not good at anything at all.#he gets told that he has a great sense of humour. i’m just. boring and annoying. lolllll#he’s super sociable and he has good relations with pretty much every single family member (sans me). i’m not in contsct with most of the fam#heck he was pretty much the favourite from the moment he was born. his baby pics still get brought up from time to time bc of how cute he is#(granted it’s bc he looks like a bby m*ch*l*n man (like the tire company mascot) and he’s super cute in them but still)#and he’s also a guy and content with being a guy which is just… not fair y’knowwww~~~ asian family boy biases and all (cries)#our father pretty much cast me aside once my bro was old enough to hang with him. and even before then the bias was as clear as day. >:(((((#i make the dude mad? i get screamed at and whaccced. bro gets the dude mad? he gets a lesson on how to throw punches instead!!! like wow!!!!#he’s the only one who got to escape any direct physical harm from the guy and yet!!!! he was the 1st one to be singled out for trauma focus#idk if it’s bc of his age back then or whattttt but i can’t believe i had to friggin’ ask my therapist back then for a trauma assessment :(#2015 was a different time… my bro managed to succeed in school while i was rejected from the drama club for being too depressed :((((#but i’m sure my bro has his own share of struggles… and i’m glad that he has a few groups of friends to chill with. really.#but i just can’t help feeling extremely envious of him. i could never tell him any of this though we hardly talk at home lol#and he pretends not to know me when i approach him in public lmfaoooo. i don’t blame him though; i’d do the same if i were to approach me#so yeah. if you read this i’m sorry for being cringefail and bad at everything~~ am i still allowed to pollute your dash~? <3#and also. idk if i’ll be able to continue sischange over this week bc i’ll be handling 2 workstations by meself :( and idk how tired i’ll be#but we’ll see ok~? sorry for having zero time management skills am i still qualified to be a legit adult~?#sunday’s 🧂saltfest🧂
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imjustlaughingalong · 11 months ago
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Maybe I'm misinterpreting or just being silly, but like...it very much feels like my father is making an earnest effort (whether he admits or not) to replace every aspect of his previous marriage and consequently family with this new woman and the "childless carefree bachelor" life he "deserves"
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cornmayor · 2 months ago
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SANS AU TUMBLR SEXYMAN MASTERPOST
[Updates everyday]
All polls are on my twitter account (yes I know not here, sorry xD)
ROUND 1
Seraphim (The Thought by TratserEnoyreve) vs FellSwap Sans (FellSwap Gold by Blackgum)
Fell (UnderFell by Fella/Vic) vs Color (OtherTale by Super Youmna)
Cross (XTale by Jael Peñaloza) vs Murder (DustTale by ask-dusttale)
Swap (UnderSwap by p0pcornPr1nce) vs Fatal!Error by Xedramon
Error by CrayonQueen vs Horror (HorrorTale by Sour-Apple-Studios)
Saness (UnderPants by Sr Pelo) vs Killer by Rahafwabas
Epic (EpicTale by yugogeer12) vs Reaper (ReaperTale by Ren)
SwapDream by Song_A and Litemong vs Nightmare (DreamTale by Jokublog)
Insans (Alive by tatatale) vs Crossbones (TS!Underswap by Team Switched)
Ink (_____Tale by Comyet) vs Bill!Sans by Hwamyong
Fresh by CrayonQueen vs Outer (OuterTale by 2mi127)
Slash by ProductionRoxy vs Ganz (GZTale by NyriaTamare)
Dream (DreamTale by Jokublog) vs Pale!Ink by Unu-nunium
Fresh!Ink by Comyet vs Therapist by tehRogue
Geno (AfterTale by CrayonQueen) vs G!Sans by Borurou (EchoTale by Yoralim)
Arz by DanielaVE vs Lust (UnderLust by NSFWshamecave)
Round 1 results
ROUND 2
FellSwap Sans (FellSwap Gold by Blackgum) vs Fell (UnderFell by Fella/Vic)
Cross (XTale by Jael Peñaloza) vs Swap (UnderSwap by p0pcornPr1nce)
Error by CrayonQueen vs Killer by Rahafwabas
Reaper (ReaperTale by Ren) vs Nightmare (DreamTale by Jokublog)
Crossbones (TS!Underswap by Team Switched) vs Ink (_____Tale by Comyet)
Fresh by CrayonQueen vs Ganz (GZTale by NyriaTamare)
Dream (DreamTale by Jokublog) vs Fresh!Ink by Comyet
Geno (AfterTale by CrayonQueen) vs Lust (UnderLust by NSFWshamecave)
Round 2 results
ROUND 3
Fell (UnderFell by Fella/Vic) vs Cross (XTale by Jael Peñaloza)
Error by CrayonQueen vs Nightmare (DreamTale by Jokublog)
Ink (_____Tale by Comyet) vs Fresh by CrayonQueen
Dream (DreamTale by Jokublog) vs Geno (AfterTale by CrayonQueen)
Round 3 results
SEMIFINAL
Cross (XTale by Jael Peñaloza) vs Error by CrayonQueen
Ink (_____Tale by Comyet) vs Geno (AfterTale by CrayonQueen)
Semifinal results
FINALE
Error by CrayonQueen vs Geno (AfterTale by CrayonQueen)
ERROR WON
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darkmuffinstudios · 2 months ago
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The more completed version!!
This is for the Twitter sexyman polls being hosted by CornMayor! ^^
I made a little video to commemorate everyone’s favorite guy to bully /lh (although, it’s only a part 1 since I quickly ran out of steam,,,)
Anyways, enjoy!
(Edit: Here are the credits because I completely forgot AIDJDJSKDK:
Cornmayor >>> the host of the polls
Error, Geno, Fresh: crayonqueen/loverofpiggies on tumblr
Killer: rahafwabas
Reaper (although I forgot to draw him in the video,,,, I love him sm I promise): renrink
Nightmare, Dream: Jokublog
Crossbones: Team Switched
Ink, Fresh!Ink: Comyet
Ganz/GZtale: Nixensibrat
Lust: NSFWshamecave
Seraphim Sans: tratserEnoyreve
Fellswap: Blackgum
Underfell sans: underfellx on Twitter
Color: Super Youmna
Cross: Jael Penaloza
Dust: ask-dusttale
Swap: p0pcornpr1nce
(I actually don’t know who made uwuberry but I’d like to know, he’s so silly)
Fatal!Error: Xedramon
Horror: Sour-Apple-Studios
SANNNESSSS: Sr Pelo
Epic: yugogeer12
Swap Dream/Swad: Song_A & Litemong
Insans: Tatatale
Bill sans: Hwamyong
Outer: 2mi127
Slash: ProductionRoxy
Pale!Ink: Unu-nunium
Therapist: TehRogue
G!Sans/Echotale Sans: Borurou (Echotale by Yoralim)
Arz: DanielaVE
Programs Used:
- Procreate
- Capcut
Song: Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic)
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tehrogueva · 2 years ago
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Ngl, if nightmare ever became doc's client I can totally see him getting dragged in by dream without his consent
Doc: not necessarily. Anyone could come in for any reason. Regardless, they are welcome.
Rogue: (With Dreamtale especially, I'm trying to walk the line of representing a good mix of both canon and fanon. It is a trick process cause no mater what, one side of the Dreamtale fan base is going to be upset.
It would be easier to use Au version of Dream and Nightmare, like say for example OSD Dream and Nightmare by @calcium-cat. OSD Nightmare would actually be excellent to go into cause of how he's changed with the events of the story.
But then I still want to address what the Canon Dream and Nightmare went though, cause OMG it would make for good angst in a therapy session!
I think I'm going to stay as close as I can to canon for their origin, but maybe add some of the more accepted fanon bits to flesh them out. Still unsure and working on it.
I'm doing a lot of research into all the characters I'm going to be using in the Therapist!Sans series. I at the very least want to do the character's justice within their canon, but also with the wider accepted fanon. It's a really tough balance, but definitely going to be worth it.)
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ellecdc · 23 days ago
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Off the Clock
PT!Remus x team medic!reader who lets Remus help her out off the clock [2.2k words]
CW: flirting, fluff, suggestive content, brief nonsexual nudity [?], socks and sandals, based off of stupid sexy pt!remus who wasn't supposed to be so sexy
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“You doin’ alright there, doc?” Remus asked casually as he leaned against the door to the team gym sans the team as you tried and failed to stretch out an angry muscle in your back. 
“Yeah.” You let out - half groan half appeasement as you unfurled yourself from your quasi-yoga pose attempt at trying to unkink some knot in your back that was starting to make it painful to breathe. “Yeah, I’m alright.”
Remus nodded as he narrowed his eyes at you before heading towards the medic’s office. “Could’ve fooled me.” 
“Then why’d you ask?” You laughed breathlessly as you laid face down on your gym mat, wincing at the twinge radiating from your middle back down to nearly your tailbone. 
“Maybe I just like hearing the sound of your voice; ever think about that?” Remus called back, still in your office as you heard him shuffling about. 
“You like listening to women lie to you, Lupin?”
You heard him snicker at that and couldn’t help the smile that took over your face, knowing that eliciting any type of reaction from your usually inhibited physical therapist didn’t come easily.
Well…not your physical therapist…the team's physical therapist. But he was on your team…the medical team, so, well, you sort of liked to claim him anyways. 
“I don’t know if I like listening to women lie to me,” he started as he crouched beside you, “but I’m quite good at it.”
You opened your eyes to see he had changed out of his more formal work wear into a pair of loose fitting joggers and a team long sleeved shirt that fit him like skin. You couldn’t believe he hid that body under all of those team hoodies and dress shirts. 
“What hurts?” He asked as you felt a gentle yet warm and assured hand land on your back and begin brushing soft strokes along your spine. 
“M’back.” You mumbled into your arm as your face pinched in discomfort. 
“Well yeah.” Remus agreed, but it wasn’t chiding, rather his hand seemed to still on a part of your back that emanated heat as he stared unseeingly into the gym as if he were mapping out the muscles of your back in his head. “Jeez that’s sore, hm?”
You hummed in agreement and tried to breathe around it. “Think I’m gonna have to call a chiropractor or something.” 
Remus’ pinched brows seemed to pinch further as he moved his gaze to yours. “Well now I’m offended.” 
“What? Why?” You tried to laugh, though quickly groaned as it left your ribs feeling like they might crack under the pressure. Remus made a tsking sound as he resumed gentle circles on the sore part of your back that you both pretended not to hear. 
“You have a perfectly good PT here and you’re going to call a chiropractor?” He deadpanned. 
“You’re not my PT, Remus.” You murmured quietly. 
“And you’re not my doctor, but did you not stitch my hand up after that incident with the skates?” 
“Well, yeah, but-”
“Yeah.” 
“-but you’re part of the team, and it was an incident that happened with the team…” You argued, though it sounded feeble even to your own ears.
“You’re as much a part of the team as I am, doc.” He murmured softly. 
“I’m fine, Lupin; honest. I probably slept on it weird or something.”
“Or you insisted on unloading the bus back in New York in the freezing cold without stretching properly first and pulled something.” That was chiding. 
“It’s my job to help the equipment crew.”
“Within reason, doc. Any more arguments?”
“You’re off the clock, though; you’re not going to even be paid for this.” You whined.
“That’s actually better for me; means you can’t sue if I make it worse.” He paused as he allowed you to huff a small laugh. “Any other questions or are you going to let me help you?”
“How do you know I didn’t stretch?” You grumbled, lifting your head from your crossed arms when Remus didn’t answer you.
His hand continued its ministrations as he stared at you with an unreadable expression on his face. “Did you stretch?”
You held his gaze for as long as you could muster before letting out a petulant huff and hiding your face in your arms again. 
“Up you get.” He ordered as he stood up slightly, taking your elbows in his hands and helping you straighten as you spent the majority of your effort not groaning like the decrepit old women you felt like. 
Remus - with his skin tight shirt and his grey sweats and his gentle yet assured hands and his dulcet tones and sweet encouragements - led you to one of the private examination rooms that had a massage table set up in it.
“Rem…” You tried, but he simply encouraged you forward by the small of your back. 
“Take this…” Remus murmured as he pulled at your shirt, pausing as he moved a finger below the strap of your sports bra through your athletic top gently before his hand disappeared altogether. “-and this off for me, okay?” 
And before you could protest, he was gone. 
You got your shirt and bra off with some difficulty; a pained breath with your shirt and a slight whimper at your bra that had you contemplating just cutting the damn thing off when you finally slid it over your head.
That would definitely not be going back on tonight. 
You tucked yourself between the warm bedding and lied face down on the table. You’d hardly had a moment to realise the blankets were still warm from the dryer when there was a gentle rap on the door and Remus opened it a crack.
“You good?”
You hummed in agreement as he came in and closed the door behind him. 
“Are you wearing socks in your birkenstocks?” You murmured as you saw his feet appear below the face rest of the massage table. 
“Okay, your eyes are supposed to be closed.” He muttered, but you could hear the smile in his voice as he tucked the edge of the blanket into your waistband and pulled your pants slightly lower on your hips.
“Are they? I didn’t realise that was a requirement.”
“If you keep it up I’m going to go get Black and Potter’s lotion from the fridge for you.” Remus threatened as he grabbed a bottle of lotion from a bowl of water before smoothing the warm contents over your back.
“You put lotion in the fridge?”
“Only for Potter and Black.”
“Why?” You asked through a moan you would have been embarrassed about had Remus’ hands not felt like being touched by a sexy bloody angel. 
“We’ll see how funny they think it is to cling wrap our entire office, won’t we?”
You let out a surprised laugh that turned into a groan that Remus quickly rectified by applying light pressure to the sore section of your back. 
“Pranking them back, why didn’t I think of that!?” 
“You just stay away from those hooligans, hm? I’ll take care of them.” 
“Doctors orders?”
Remus took a steadying breath as he worked out a stubborn knot in your back. “I think it’s the erector spinae muscle.” He grunted under the pressure he was using. 
“I love when you talk anatomy to me.” You hummed, relishing in the snort of a laugh from Remus as he moved his hands back down to the bottom of your spine to work over the muscle again.
“You’re impossible.” 
“In a good way or a bad way?”
Remus was quiet for a moment as he considered your question. “In the best way.”
You hardly had a moment to reply before his sock-birkenstock combo was visible beneath the table again and he was working the muscles from the opposite direction. 
The room felt heavy and warm; between Remus’ presence, his skilled and knowledgeable hands, the soft blankets below you and the fact that you were consciously working to not notice the way his hands felt on the delicate skin on your sides below your shoulders before your ribs, or the way his fingers seemed to inch slightly further below your waistband with each pass every time you made him laugh. 
“I’m going to fall asleep if you don’t stop.” You murmured drowsily into your arms, and you could feel the puffs of air along your back when he breathed out a laugh before smoothing his hands over your back once, twice, three times more before releasing the blankets from your waistband. 
“Do you feel any better?” He murmured as you sat up, awkwardly holding one of the fuzzy throws over your torso causing him to turn quickly and grab your shirt and bra.
You took both from him but tossed the bra back towards the chair it’d been sitting on before dropping the blanket and pulling the shirt over your head.
Your muscles felt hot and sore, but no longer tight; rather like you had worked out and needed to rest now.
You pulled your shirt down over your torso to see Remus with his hands in his pockets as he looked down at his feet with what looked to be a raging blush even in the low lighting of the room. 
“Way better, Rem.” You sighed gratefully.
“Good,” his voice cracked before he cleared it, “yeah, good, good.” 
“Good.” You whispered with a smile, and he finally looked up to meet your eye.
He offered you a half smile and scuffed the toe of his birkenstock on the ground. “Don’t be going shy on me now, Lupin; not now that I know what you can do with those hands.” 
He let out a loud laugh as he threw his head back and dragged his hands across his face. “You’re impossible.” 
“The good kind.”
He let his hands fall only to rest them on his hips as he smiled at you. “The best kind.” 
You beamed at him, and he beamed right back.
“You weren’t getting paid for this, right?” You whispered; if Remus was confused by your question, he didn’t show it.
“No.”
“What does that make us, then?”
He sucked in a breath and answered on the exhale. “Friends.”
“So…” You started as you reached your hand out to fiddle with the hem of Remus’ sinfully tight shirt between your fingers. He stepped closer to you, now standing between your legs where you sat perched on the edge of the table. 
“So?” He murmured back, two hands settling tentatively on the sides of your thighs. 
“So.” You repeated, squeezing your eyes shut as you lost your nerve.
“Don’t be getting shy on me now, dove.” He teased as one of his hands moved to cup your jaw; horrified to think he might feel the heat beneath your cheeks or the hummingbird speed at which your heart was beating. “Not now that I know what you look like without a shirt.”
Your breath caught in your throat as you watched his eyes flit between yours as well as your lips.
“What did you call me?” You whispered instead of giggling like a fucking school girl. 
His cheeks pinked again, but his smirk grew as his gaze stayed glued to your lips.
“I went to call you doc and…switched it to love halfway through,” he let out with a slightly nervous chuckle, “I guess…I guess it sort of turned into dove.” 
He’d barely finished his sentence before you were grabbing a fistfull of his shirt and pulling him into you as you pressed a searing kiss to his lips. He let out a surprised yet pleased hum as his hand cupping your jaw moved to the back of your neck where he grabbed a fistfull of hair, and his hand that had been on your thigh moved to squeeze your hip. 
You kept his shirt within your fist but allowed your other hand to rove along his chest up to his shoulder before moving it to trace the muscles in his back, forcing him that much closer so that your hips were flush with one another. 
You made a nearly embarrassing keening sound as you brought both of your hands up to the back of his neck and pulled him impossibly closer to you; swallowing the hum of approval leaving his lips as he granted you access to his mouth. 
The two of you broke apart though neither of you deigned to give the other space as Remus simply rested his forehead against yours as he caught his breath.
“Still okay?” He breathed out as he loosened his hold on your hair and trailed his thumb along the expanse of skin behind your ear, the hand on your hip brushing along the waistband of your pants. 
You hummed in agreement as you let your hands explore the hard lines of his body appreciatively.
“So, ‘dove’, eh?” You asked as you moved your gaze back to his face only to see his eyes already steady on you. 
A small chuckle. “I guess so.”
“I like it.” You admitted.
“The name?”
You nodded your head back and forth in a so-so manner as you fiddled with the tawny curls behind his ears. “Among other things.” 
Remus hummed in understanding, leaning forward to kiss you again that was mostly soft giggles and teeth as the two of you smiled stupidly at each other. 
“I like it, too.”
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javier-pena · 15 days ago
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three's a crowd
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Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader x Joel Miller
Word Count: 9.9k
Rating: Explicit
Summary: You’re in love with Frankie and he is in love with you, but you both have no idea how to act on it. Until Joel Miller comes along.
Warnings: friends to lovers | alcohol consumption | smoking | pining | jealousy | reader’s hair can get wet without it being an issue | Joel is kinda sleazy in this (but reader is very much into it) | mentions of cheating | protective Frankie | threesome m/f/(m) | a surprising amount of biting | the oral fixation in this is insane, I’m sorry | it’s all about hands and fingers | voyeurism | semi-public sex | cuck!Frankie but also not really (guess you’ll have to read it to find out what that means) | nipple play | (brief) fingering | (very brief) masturbation (m) | unprotected p in v sex | rough sex | spanking | orgasm delay | overstimulation | creampie
Notes: I started writing this fic in June and it was supposed to be a fun little summer thing and then stuff happened and now it's October - but here it finally is. There isn't really much I can say about it except that Dani @alexturner saved the whole thing by pointing out that the final fic wasn't really like what I had talked about while discussin the idea with her and after editing it, it's much, much better. I also had a lot of fun talking about Frankie's and Joel's backstory with you, Dani 🤭 maybe I'll write that one day ...
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“D’you wanna fuck her, Miller?”
BEFORE
It must have been two years ago, or maybe it was three. Your hair was longer, you had just broken up with your boyfriend of five years, had just moved to a town where you didn’t know a single soul. “A fresh start is what you need.” That’s what your therapist said to you when you cried your heart out after Derek dumped you and moved in with his new girlfriend a week later. But she hadn’t been talking about this, moving halfway across the country, all the way from Maine, where the winters are cold and the air is always salty, to Texas, where it almost never snows and the tornado sirens make you run for cover.
That’s how you met Frankie, sweet, smiling Frankie. Your truck broke down in the grocery store parking lot and he jump-started it. He stuck out to you because he was wearing a pale blue baseball cap, bleached from countless summers under the hot Texan sun, and not a cowboy hat like all the other men around. You bought him dinner at that steak place that would become your favorite, and after three shots of tequila you opened up to him. He held you when you started to cry, took you home, slept on your couch when you asked him not to leave.
You’ve been friends ever since.
He showed you around San Antonio, he flew you to Enchanted Rock in a helicopter he rented, he even took you to Mexico where you found out he speaks Spanish fluently. He helped you fix the roof of your bungalow when it started leaking. You, in turn, took him to the cinema, made him watch horror movies that made him squeal, dragged him along to a rodeo, taught him how to ride a motorcycle when he told you he had always wanted to learn. The two of you just clicked. It felt right.
Now, after three years, you can’t imagine your life without Frankie in it. You don’t remember who you were before him, and you don’t want to. He’s your best friend, and you’re his. Where one of you goes, the other follows. And of course, people mistake you for a couple, of course they ask, “And what about your girlfriend here?”, they say, “You’re lucky to be dating such a nice young fella”. You always laugh, correct them lightheartedly. But sometimes you wish they were right. You love Frankie as a friend, more than you ever thought you could love anyone, but sometimes you want more.
You almost got that more about a year after meeting Frankie. One of his friends, Santi, was in town, and you went out with a group before taking advantage of the hot tub that came with Santi’s motel. There were drinks involved, one thing led to another, and suddenly you found yourself straddling Frankie, wearing nothing more than a bikini, your fingers tugging on his curls, his hands roaming all over your body. It didn’t go any further than that, and the next morning he dropped you off at your house with his usual, “See ya ‘round.” He never talked about it and neither did you. He was probably regretting it and you didn’t want to lose him over something like this, so you left it all unsaid.
He started dating someone soon afterwards, first Arabella, then Bessie, and you hated them both, even though they were probably decent women. Luckily, neither relationship lasted long because it hurt. You didn’t tell Frankie, acted perfectly civil around them, but it felt as if your heart had been dropped from a great height and had shattered against the pavement. You had to ease that pain with a couple of meaningless one-night-stands but they couldn’t take your mind off Frankie buried deep in another woman when it should have been you. And when you told him about Billy and Carson and Hank and Landon and Clara to provoke him to do something, he just shrugged it off and said, “I’m glad you had a nice evening.”
Frankie is single now, and so are you, and life is good. It isn’t always easy, but it’s a far cry from how it was in Maine. You’ve made peace with the whole Frankie situation, realizing it might just be enough knowing you’re the most important person in his life, even if you’ll never have him completely. This way, there also won’t be a messy breakup, hurtful things said in anger, actions you can never undo. You’re content with being Frankie’s best friend, and that should be enough.
It's summer now, one of the hottest on record. The AC in your bungalow broke and Frankie wanted to help you fix it, but then he got busy at work. That was almost a week ago, and you use these circumstances as an excuse to hang out at Frankie’s place as much as possible. He doesn’t mind. He has a big pool in his backyard that he always shares with you, and he loves your company. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he’s putting off fixing your AC on purpose.
You’re floating on your back, eyes closed, the sounds around you muffled by the water. Frankie is lounging in a chair by the side of the pool, resting in the shade after a hot day. Every time you glance over at him, his eyes are closed. That gives you the freedom to truly look, to see him how not many people are allowed to see him.
You take a deep breath and dive, floating weightlessly for a few seconds. It’s so easy to imagine this to be your life, Frankie to be your boyfriend. If he were, nothing would be different. You’d get to use your shared pool, watch him doze in the shade, help him prepare dinner later, laugh at his corny jokes … Your heart squeezes when you realize you have all of that and still it isn’t enough. What’s missing is riding him by the side of the pool, your bodies sticky with sweat. What’s missing is kissing his neck while he’s watching the brazier. What’s missing is knowing he’s yours and you’re his, come what may.
There’s a shadow by the side of the pool, and you scramble upwards, breaking through the surface with a gasp. “What?” you ask, smiling up at Frankie, shielding your eyes from the sun with your hand.
Frankie gives you a thumbs up. “Just making sure you’re not drowning.”
You’re treading water as you say, “Would you jump in and rescue me if I was?”
He laughs. “I’m pretty sure you’re a better swimmer than me.”
“I’d make it worth your while.” You wink at him.
He lowers himself into a crouch so he’s closer to the surface of the water, closer to you. “How?”
“Ever heard of mouth-to-mouth?”
He laughs one of those laughs that comes from deep inside his chest and shakes his whole body. “Leave it to you to make saving someone’s life sound sexy.”
“But it is sexy,” you say emphatically. “Imagine pulling me from the pool, your big, strong arms wrapped around me. I think you’d stay calm and collected; you’d know exactly what to do. Any woman who doesn’t fall for you after that would be a fool.”
Frankie dips his fingers into the water and flicks some of it in your direction. You squeal and try to duck, but the drops still hit you in a quick shower. “Shut up,” Frankie laughs.
You use your whole hand to try and shove the water back toward him. You miss. “Stop it,” you tell him, no weight behind your words, a broad smile on your face.
“Hey!” he shouts. “Don’t make me come in there, young lady.”
He always makes you laugh when he calls you that, the air of authority he puts into his words. You’re not that much younger than he is, but he always acts as if you’re 20 years his junior, while you have started calling him “gramps” to rile him up.
You propel yourself backward, away from him toward the opposite side of the pool. “You’re too chickenshit.”
“Oh, just you wait.” He starts to pull his shirt over his head, his cap that he always wears getting caught in the hem of the neckline. You really try not to but you can’t help looking at his soft belly, the white skin such a stark contrast to his tanned arms. You wonder what it would be like to touch him, what sounds he would make in response to the difference in pressure, if you were using your nails or –
“Am I interruptin’ somethin’?”
You don’t mean to, but you squeal at the sudden appearance of a strange man next to Frankie. You were so preoccupied staring at your friend you didn’t notice someone else approach.
Frankie lowers his shirt. His cheeks are slightly flushed. “Joel!”
You glance between the two men, but neither of them offers an explanation. Instead, a heavy silence settles itself over this already muggy afternoon.
Finally, the stranger, Joel, speaks. “Is this a bad time or –?”
“No, no,” Frankie quickly assures him while you bite down a harsh, “Yes, it is”. Frankie runs his palms down his shirt, trying to smooth the creased fabric. “I just … I had no idea you were in town.
“Well, I am,” Joel replies in a tone of voice that rubs you the wrong way. “I thought I’d drive by, see if you’re home.”
Frankie glances at you, seemingly only now remembering your presence. “This is Joel Miller,” he says in an oddly formal voice. “We sometimes work together.”
“Hi.” You raise your hand out of the water to wave at Joel, the smile you put on not reaching your eyes.
If you had to guess, you’d say Joel was older than Frankie by at least five years, maybe even ten. He’s taller too, broad-shouldered where Frankie tends to fold in on himself. His graying hair is slightly too long, but his graying beard makes him look handsome, especially when he gives you a twisted half-smile as if he’s fully aware of what he just interrupted and is taking pleasure in your discomfort and annoyance. You want him to leave but with a clench of your stomach you realize you also want him to stay.
“She your girlfriend?” Joel asks without pretense, nodding at you in a way that makes you clench your fists.
Frankie chuckles awkwardly, a sound you only heard a few times before and always hated. He lifts his cap with one hand to scratch his scalp, then shakes his head. “No, we’re just friends.”
Joel shifts, rolls his shoulders ever so slightly. “Nice to meet you, just friend of Frankie’s.”
Can’t say the same about you, you want to say but if there’s one thing you learned from your years spent in the south is that there is nothing more important than hospitality. “You too,” you say instead, and start kicking the water, doing laps in the pool. If you ignore him, maybe he’ll leave soon.
But Frankie opens a beer bottle for him and Joel sits down in the lawn chair next to him, taking a big swig. You try to ignore them as best as you can, but you can’t keep your ears from straining to catch snippets of their conversation.
“… between jobs … just a couple o’ nights …”
“… go out tomorrow … bar in town …”
“… broke up with me ‘cause she … her friend …”
Sometimes Frankie laughs in a way he only does when he wants to impress someone. Usually, you can see it too, usually you admire the same people but there is something about Joel that makes alarm bells ring in your head. And you don’t like the way Frankie behaves around him. You don’t want to call it submissive because you hate that word, but it feels as if he’s putting up a front for Joel, not saying what he really wants to say, not doing what he really wants to do.
But then sometimes Joel’s eyes are on you, his gaze hooded, and he doesn’t look away when you catch him staring. There is something in the brazen way he does it that makes you crave more, and you’re a little bit disgusted with yourself for wanting that. You don’t know this man, and you don’t like what you glimpsed so far, but when he asks, “Any chance of you joinin’ us, sunshine?” you’re so very tempted to say yes.
“I wanna shower first,” you answer, pushing yourself up on the edge of the pool. Joel’s eyes immediately shoot to your chest while Frankie’s are glued to his bottle, his fingers busy picking at the label.
“Don’t keep us waitin’,” Joel says in a tone of voice that grates on you and makes you tighten your jaw. You want to flip him off, and he knows it too because he raises his half-empty bottle to you. You wish Frankie would say something, or at least acknowledge your presence, but a loose thread on his jeans has caught his attention now. Your chest tightens with annoyance and, even though you’re loath to admit it, hurt, and you huff at Joel before grabbing your towel and making your way toward Frankie’s house. You feel Joel’s eyes burn a searing mark into your back.  
You have no right to feel the way you do, you tell yourself as you work shampoo into your hair. Frankie can be friends with whomever he wants to. This is his house and he can let himself be treated however he sees fit. And you’re not dependent on him to defend you against a jerk like Joel, you can manage that all on your own. Besides, it’s not as if Joel is going to be around for long, he will most likely leave after another beer or two, so there really is no reason for you to get so worked up about it.
And yet …
You turn off the water with a quick jerk of your hand.
Stepping out of the shower, locating a fresh towel, it’s like second nature to you. You briefly bury the face in the soft fabric, inhaling the clean scent of Frankie’s detergent, a scent that will always bring you comfort. Then you pull one of the several dresses you keep at Frankie’s house over your head before using the towel to superficially dry your hair. It comes away smelling like him, which sends a pleasant shiver down your spine.
You’ve come to terms with it, you really have. Yes, you sometimes dream about kissing him, yes, you can’t stop fantasizing about what the two of you would be like as a couple, but what you have is nice. And it feels like it should be enough, which should count for something, right?
“Took your sweet time in there, sunshine.”
You jump, only registering Joel’s presence leaning against the opposite wall as you pull the bathroom door closed behind you.
“There’s a half bath next to the kitchen,” you tell him, avoiding his searing gaze. “You know, if you need to go.”
You try to scurry down the hallway and back out into the garden, but Joel pushes himself off the wall and steps into your way. “I don’t,” he answers. “I was looking for you.”
You sigh and look up at him, hoping he’ll notice your mild annoyance. “Why?”
“Frankie’s busy with dinner.” His gaze sweeps you from your damp hair down to your bare feet, widening as he notices your dress is slightly too tight at your chest. “And you look like good company.” Before you can come up with a snide remark, he’s two steps closer and his hand is suddenly resting on your waist, his palm hot to the touch even through the fabric. “You’re certainly prettier.”
The sudden contact, his brazen approach catches you off-guard. It’s been years since a man has treated you like this, and many years more since you were free to do with that whatever you wanted.
“Come on.” Why is his voice so low suddenly? “Cat got your tongue?”
You roll your eyes. “N-”
But before you’re able to finish the second short sound, the thumb of his free hand is on your bottom lip and he starts to pull it down. “Let me check.”
Before your brain can consider all your options, you bite down on his finger, hard, out of reflex, drawing a hiss from him. He pulls back, steps away, shakes his hand. But that sleazy half-smile is still firmly fixed on his face. “Oh, you’re a little fighter, is that it?”
You take a step closer to him in an attempt to intimidate him, but he doesn’t budge. “I just don’t like it when people touch me without my permission.”
“I bet that sweet little pussy of yours is tellin’ a different tale.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You shove him, both palms hitting his chest, and he loses some ground.
He tries to snatch your wrist but you’re too fast for him. “Careful, sunshine. Don’t irritate me.”
“Why?” You push your chin forward in defiance. “What are you gonna do about it?”
“Oh, I have some ideas.” Joel reaches for your waist again, but you manage to step back quickly. He balls his hand into a fist. “I just ain’t sure you’d like them very much.”
“Didn’t your mother teach you manners?”
“I’d like to teach you some,” he shoots back.
The sound of Frankie clearing his throat makes you jump. He’s standing behind Joel, just inside the sliding door that leads into the garden, a cocktail shaker in his hand, an apron covering his chest. “Drinks are ready,” he announces, his voice tense. Then he turns around, leaving you to wonder how long he’s been standing there and how much he heard.
Your stomach curls tightly with shame. Not because of anything he might have overheard or because of anything you did, but because you liked the way Joel talked to you, you liked that he decided he wanted you and went for it. You liked being close to him, feeling his uninvited touch on your body, hearing him say those lewd things. And all the while you forgot about Frankie, for the first time in months.
Joel glances at you and some of the shame must show on your face because he says, “If I kissed you right now, do you think he’d punch me?”
And just like that you’re back to feeling the slow grating of annoyance, like nails scraping down a chalkboard. “Don’t flatter yourself,” you huff before pushing past him and stepping back out into the garden.
The evening light is softer now, the heat feels less oppressive. The sun has begun to dip toward the horizon, and Frankie’s shadow is long against the grass as he waits for you to rejoin him by the pool. You want to put on your brightest smile for him, want to show him how much you appreciate everything he is doing for you, but with him you never have to pretend. Your face lights up when you see him whether you want it to or not, your steps quicken, your heart feels full of happiness. Even someone like Joel can’t ruin that, no matter how hard he might try.
“All clean?” Frankie has a lopsided grin on his face and a martini glass in his hand. When you nod, he hands it to you. “I made it just the way you like it.”
“Thanks, honey,” you tease and playfully kiss his cheek.
“This one’s for you.” Frankie hands Joel a tumbler full of amber liquid.
Joel raises an eyebrow. “Just whiskey?”
“You seem like a whiskey kinda guy,” Frankie answers with a shrug before taking off his apron and hanging it over the backrest of his lawn chair.
“What are you having?” you ask, sitting down on one of the sun loungers Frankie keeps next to the pool.
Frankie lightly shakes his beer bottle. “I’ll stick with this for now.”
You glance from him to Joel and then back to him as both men remain standing, clutching their drinks. “Well, this is nice and relaxing.”
“Sorry,” Frankie mumbles and lets himself fall back into his chair. “Long day.”
Joel chuckles and steps forward, but instead of choosing the chair next to Frankie’s, he sits down on the sunbed right next to you. The rough denim of his jeans scrapes against your naked thigh and you scoot away from him, clearing your throat. Joel doesn’t seem to have noticed; his eyes are fixed on Frankie.
“You never told me you had a nice place like this,” he says, vaguely waving his hand at the pool and the manicured lawn. “I would’ve come over much sooner.”
“Where do you live?” you ask before Frankie can say something.
Joel chuckles before taking a sip from his whiskey. “You know what would go great with this?” He pulls a crumpled pack of cigarettes out of the back pocket of his jeans, conveniently having to lean against you to retrieve it. You push back, refusing to make yourself small. He holds the pack out to you first, but you shake your head. He doesn’t offer it to Frankie.
“She asked you a question.”
Your eyes snap from the sight of Joel lighting a cigarette, the filter hugged firmly between his lips, to Frankie, who has his elbows propped up on his knees, a thumb and forefinger wrapped around the neck of the beer bottle, holding it precariously.
Joel takes a drag from his cigarette and exhales slowly. The smoke tickles your suddenly very dry throat. “I live here and there,” he finally replies. “Wherever work takes me.”
“Okay, so where do you currently live?” you probe.
Joel waves his hand around. “Y’know …”
“What he means to say is that he’s currently between houses,” Frankie clarifies, a slight tension in his voice you haven’t heard before.
“Oh, so you’re a bum?” Is Frankie’s face lighting up with satisfaction at your comment or are you only imagining that?
Joel takes another drag. “I’m whatever you want me to be.”
It was bad enough that he had no regard for your boundaries when Frankie wasn’t right there next to you, but he can’t expect you to just take it now that Frankie is this close. You try to stand up, but his hand closes around yours and pulls you back down next to him, the force of it making some of your drink spill.
“Hey!” you protest loudly, but he only slings his arm around your shoulder.
“His girlfriend just kicked him out,” Frankie goes on, pretending he didn’t notice what just went down. “He cheated on her with her best friend.”
“Couldn’t have been a very good friend then.” You pick Joel’s heavy arm off your shoulders and let it fall down next to you.
Joel shrugs. “If I see somethin’ I want, I take it.”
“Must be lonely, going through life with that mindset,” you observe, watching him as he stubs out the cigarette against the tiles surrounding the pool.
“Depends on what you want out of life, I s’pose.”
You glance up at the slowly darkening evening sky, currently a soft, darkening blue, then take a sip from your very strong martini. “And what is that?” you ask, watching a bird glide across the sky.
“D’you wanna fuck her, Miller?”
AFTER
“Yes.” It comes out rough and breathless and eager, and suddenly your blood is rushing in your ears. You have no idea when the evening shifted to this, but you suppose it was inevitable from the moment Joel walked in. You just didn’t think Frankie would be the one to ask the question.
You glance at Frankie, sweet Frankie, who always respects you, always treats you like you’re royalty, and you see something in his gaze you’ve never seen before, a sort of strangled curiosity, like he’s desperate to find out where this might go, but unsure if he can handle the way there. You smile at him, and you nod, and his pupils dilate immediately, setting your heart pounding. That’s all he needs from you, and all you need from him.
Frankie puts his beer bottle on a small table next to his chair, leans back, crosses one leg over the other, ankle resting against his thigh. “Tough luck, pal,” he says, and next to you Joel stiffens. “You can kiss her though.”
For a moment, you’re right back there in high school, a bottle pointing at you, your friend Ines grinning at you from across the circle, Billy licking his lips nervously. But you’re all grown up now, you’ve played these games a million times, should know their rules by heart. Then why are your hands so sweaty?
Joel doesn’t waste any time, doesn’t even wait for you to turn toward him. His hand is already at the back of your neck while your eyes are still on Frankie, and his lips have found yours while you’re still trying to decipher the look in Frankie’s gaze. The kiss is rough, almost unpleasantly so, and you can taste the nicotine and whiskey on Joel’s tongue that claims your mouth with hungry licks. Joel’s whole body is pushing against yours, and you push back, pressing your chest against his, making his concentration slip briefly. You use this moment of inattention to gain the upper hand and bite his lip, less violently than you bit his finger but hard enough for him to inhale sharply. Maybe even hard enough to draw a little bit of blood.
Joel shifts, tightens his hold on your neck, and pushes up against you even more, like he’s trying to get you to lie down and submit to him. Resisting his efforts gives you a feeling of power you’re unable, maybe even unwilling, to control. You’re still trying to come to terms with the newness of the situation, with the shift that has taken place, but you know exactly what you want, and that is not to give up one inch to Joel without making him work hard for it.
Joel’s hand is on your naked thigh now, tough callouses rubbing against smooth skin. Just like his kisses, it almost feels too violent, but then you remember Frankie’s hands roaming your body in that hot tub, the way the water hadn’t managed to soften his skin. You remember how much you wanted him that night, and suddenly you wish Joel would touch you more.
As if he can read your thoughts, Joel’s hand is suddenly at the underside of your breast, cupping it through the fabric of your dress, his thumb finding the nipple so confidently as if he has touched you a million times before. Your body responds to the touch immediately and you lean into it, your lips parting in a stifled moan. The pad of his thumb rubs across your hardening nipple, rolls it through the dress and the bra you’re wearing, and you should push him away, make him feel like his efforts are futile and he has no effect on you whatsoever, but it’s been too long. Too fucking long. You’re on fire, unpleasantly so, feeling like you’re burning up too fast, like the flames have barely touched you and you’re already turning to ash. You press yourself into Joel’s touch as your jaw slackens, and he grabs your breast and squeezes it roughly while pushing his tongue into your mouth with the sole intent of making you gag.
“Hey!” Frankie’s voice is sharp, but when you flinch away from Joel and glance over at him, he’s still sitting in his chair holding his bottle of beer.
Your ears feel hot with shame as you refuse to acknowledge Joel’s presence and avoid Frankie’s gaze. Frankie was the one to suggest the kiss, Joel made the first move – then why do you feel such shame? Like you’ve been caught cheating? Why do you feel it’s wrong to –
“What?” Joel asks, interrupting the spiral you’re about to slide down.
Frankie squeezes the neck of the bottle, his skin making a wet sound against the glass. “We said kiss.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you see that sleazy smirk return to Joel’s lips. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little second base.”
Frankie seems to consider this, his eyes fixed to the ground beneath his feet. You wish you could tell what was going on in his mind, but your heart is still racing like you’re being hunted for sport and your body is screaming for Joel to put his hands on you again, and all of that is too much to read Frankie.
Frankie holds out a hand to Joel. “Cigarette,” he says, and Joel obliges. You watch Frankie light it up and take a deep drag, a sight so unfamiliar it makes you eager to commit it to memory. “So you really wanna fuck her then?” he finally asks.
There is a pressure low in your abdomen that makes you shift against the lounger.
Joel only laughs, crude and hoarse, as if deigning that question with an answer is below him. “Where did you get that idea from?”
Frankie takes another drag, a short one this time, before glancing directly at Joel’s crotch. You follow his gaze to find a bulge there, one that definitely wasn’t there before, straining against the stiff fabric. When Joel’s eyes find yours, you make sure he sees you lick your lips. His jaw twitches.
Frankie leans back comfortably in his chair, some of the ash from the cigarette landing on his pants. He brushes it off with a flick of his wrist. “I’ll let you fuck her. But you’re gonna do exactly as I say.”
You think you must have entered a parallel universe or another dimension. For a short while at least. None of it makes sense: the cigarette in Frankie’s hand, the way he talks and what he says, that man next to you who is nothing more than a stranger, who had his tongue in your mouth two minutes ago, and that all of this makes you wetter than you can ever remember being. But then Frankie’s eyes meet yours, dark pupils blown unfamiliarly wide, and yet there is something in them you recognize – this isn’t a stranger who is looking at you, this is your best friend. No matter what happens next, he’s going to look out for you. All you need to do is trust him.
Next to you, Joel shifts, adjusting his crotch. He licks his lips. “Yeah.” He nods. “Okay.”
Your eyes are on Frankie now, heart racing in your chest, mouth completely dry, as you wait for what comes next. Your brain is running hot trying to go through all the possibilities of what Frankie could have Joel do to you, but all you come back to is Frankie kneeling in front of you, spreading your legs. Joel is nothing more than a shadow beside you, watching with a hungry gaze.
Frankie leans forward and reaches out his hand as if he means to touch you, but then stops himself and leans back. “You don’t have to do as you’re told.” The softness in his voice catches you by surprise, but he goes on before you can analyze it. “To start, do whatever you’re comfortable with.”
You glance at Joel, at how stiff his shoulders are, and you face him, trembling fingers pulling his shirt up where it is tugged into his jeans. Up and up you pull it until he has to raise his arms for you to get it off, and then you finally see his body betray his nerves as his chest flushes a deep red. There is a scar on his left collarbone, old and slightly brighter than the skin around it, there are some sparse, dark gray hairs on his chest, and his stomach is so much firmer than Frankie’s, so much less inviting.
Joel huffs and your gaze shoots back up to his face. “Kinda boring, don’t ya think? Pullin’ off my shirt when you could’ve done anythin’ to me?”
You won’t let him get to you, not like that, not when Frankie’s eyes are on you. “There’s no shame in me enjoying myself by taking things slow,” you retort. “I know your first move would’ve been to stuff two fingers into me but where’s the fun in that?”
“Oh, you’re gonna see where the fun in that is when you’re comin’ ‘round ‘em,” he replies with that infuriatingly sleazy smile darkening his face.
You lean in just a tiny bit closer. “Only if Frankie lets you.” God, that thought turns you on so much your head starts to spin.
Once you recover, Joel’s right hand is cupping your jaw, his grip firm, while his thumb rests against your lips. “Someone should stuff that mouth o’ yours.”
You open your mouth then, until his thumb is only pressing against your bottom lip. You let it slide in past your teeth until you can feel it on your tongue, heavy, tasting like nicotine. You close your lips around the digit and suck on it, your cheeks hollowing, your tongue massaging it. The corner of Joel’s mouth twitches. Somewhere to your right, you hear Frankie’s chair groan.
The sound of Frankie’s voice interrupts you. “I want you to take off her dress.”
With a wet plop, Joel pulls his thumb out of your mouth and then starts pulling at the straps of your sundress, pushing them down your shoulders.
“Slowly,” Frankie adds, his voice calm as if he’s talking to a semi-feral animal.
Joel moves you so both your feet are planted firmly on the ground, then shifts so he’s behind you. He finds the zipper at the back of your dress and begins to pull it down, torturously slowly as if there is something he wants to prove to Frankie. As more and more of your skin is revealed, he brushes over it, calloused fingers making you shiver. His hands feel so much like Frankie’s, and yet not at all like him. Frankie would be soft and gentle too, but he wouldn’t scrape you with his short nails, he wouldn’t tremble like it takes everything in him not to devour you whole.
The fabric of your dress glides down your shoulders and back, and comes to rest around your hips. It isn’t anything Frankie hasn’t seen before – your breasts are still covered, after all – and yet there is something in his gaze when you look at him, a strange kind of longing, like desire that has been kept in check for so long it has become second nature to him. You can see it in the flare of his nostrils, in the darkening of his eyes, in the way his bottom lip trembles briefly before he darts out his tongue to wet it. And yet he sits there, watching, his body unmoving like it has been trained not to give in.
“Take off her bra.”
Even Frankie’s voice is controlled and even. You shift, pulling back your shoulders and pushing out your chest in an attempt to get him to break, but his gaze shifts from you to Joel as he waits for the other man to follow his orders. Joel doesn’t need to be told twice. He flicks open the clasp at your back with one hand and your bra falls away. You push out your chin, willing your face not to heat up.
Frankie’s throat works as he swallows, a small crack in the otherwise impenetrable wall he has put up. “You’re perfect …” His voice, too, cracks on the second syllable and he coughs. “Wouldn’t you agree, Joel?”
Joel doesn’t reply. Instead, he cups one of your breasts again and squeezes the nipple tightly between his thumb and forefinger, making you arch you back as a small stab of pain shoots through you. Now that the protective barrier of fabric is gone, you can feel just how rough his skin is against your sensitive spots, how his callouses catch in places your own fingers smoothly glide over. Your head falls back against his shoulder as he pinches your nipple again, as he begins to roll it roughly, pull on it from time to time to hear you hiss.
Joel’s chest rises and falls against your back, hot skin pressing into hot skin, his breath caressing the back of your neck. He runs his nose from your earlobe all the way down to your shoulder, then back up again, but before he reaches the starting point, he sinks his teeth into your neck and bites down, drawing a shivering gasp from you. And then he doesn’t let go. He bites down harder, holding you in place, while cupping your breast with his entire hand, kneading it until your world tilts.
You’re not aware of how desperate you are to find purchase, but the garden and the pool and the sky above right themselves when your hand finds Joel’s thigh. The denim is rough beneath your palm, but he is a rough man so it doesn’t surprise you. What does surprise you though is how hard you have to fight to keep yourself from bucking your hips.
“Joel, stop.”
For just a short little while you had forgot Frankie is there with you, but his voice reminds you with brute force. And when Joel does as he’s told and you are left with nothing to distract you, all you can do is look at your best friend, at his fingers wrapped around that cigarette, and wonder what it would feel like to have him play with your nipple instead of Joel. The painful way your heart constricts at that thought utterly catches you by surprise.
Frankie takes a final drag on his cigarette, flicks the butt away, and clears his throat. “You’ll only do what I tell you to do.”
You shift, the fabric of your underwear rubbing against your clit sending a bolt of desperation through you, mixing with that unbearable longing to create a heady, dangerous cocktail. “Frankie, please.”
Frankie takes you in, and you have no idea what he sees, but he runs his thumb across his bottom lip and asks, “Do you want him to touch you?”
Joel runs his fingers up and down your arm, his touch so light it feels like torture. You try to squirm away but he keeps you trapped against his chest.
You exhale shakily. “Yeah.” There’s a brief moment of hesitation, one that makes your heart flutter as you decide whether you should keep going. You do. “God, I’m so wet.”
Joel’s wandering fingers close around your upper arm like a vise.
But Frankie keeps up his walls. “Show me how wet she is, Joel.”
You don’t think there has ever been a moment in your life where you were more turned on, a single moment where you were less in control of your body and your desires. You try to stand up, your legs trembling like you just finished a marathon, hands wrapped around your dress, ready to pull it all the way down. Joel doesn’t even let you straighten your back. He pulls you back against his chest and wraps an arm around yours before running his free hand down your stomach, not seductively or teasingly but as if he has a task to fulfill. You’ve barely registered the sensation of his fingers against your lower stomach before he has pushed them past the fabric bunched around you hips and into your underwear, and this time you lose the battle against your own body. You roll your hips into his touch as your eyes flutter shut, you push and push, moans and whimpers urging him on. He doesn’t need to be encouraged – he rolls your clit beneath his index finger, just like he rolled your nipple, before dipping it lower, pushing past the muscles at your opening and up into you.
Before you can make sense of it all, he removes his hand and holds up two fingers right in front of your eyes, glistening with your slick. Your chest heaving, you try to catch your breath.
Frankie’s eyes are wide open. “What does she taste like?” he asks, his voice rough as if he hasn’t used it in quite some time.
Joel rubs his thumb against his index and middle finger, toying with your slick. “Don’t you want to find out for yourself?”
Frankie nods so slightly you can’t be sure it really happens, then hides behind a smirk, and you feel something unbearably insisting curl up tightly in the pit of your stomach. “You tell me.”
Suddenly, Joel’s fingers are at your lips, pushing into your mouth. You open up, surprised by the sudden intrusion, and then his thick digits are pressing down against your tongue, making you gag. Tears are filling your eyes, and spit drips out of your mouth as you feel Joel’s hot breath against the shell of your ear.
“Tell him.”
You can’t, not even if you wanted to. Not because you can’t taste yourself on Joel’s skin, not because you can’t talk with his fingers filling up your mouth, but because Frankie flies out of his chair, brow furrowed and fists clenched. Before he can come to your aid, you close your hand around Joel’s wrist and push his fingers even deeper into your mouth, not breaking eye contact with Frankie, not even for a split second.
Joel presses down against your tongue and you suck on his fingers eagerly, but none of that matters to you. The only thing you care about is the red flush creeping up Frankie’s neck and into his cheeks, and the way he keeps closing the distance between the three of you until he’s standing right there, close enough for you to reach out and run your hands up and down his thigh.
Frankie’s hand is warm and heavy as it closes around yours, pulling Joel’s fingers out of your mouth. You gasp, unable to prevent a thin thread of spit from connecting your lips to Joel’s hand. It winks out of existence a second later when Frankie’s mouth clashes against yours, drawing another gasp from you, one that releases months and months of pent-up longing, one that originates deep in your chest but almost dies on your lips, stifled by wonder.
It isn’t a soft kiss, it isn’t even particularly well executed since your teeth clash painfully and Frankie pushes too hard too quickly. He also tastes more like Joel than himself, of beer and cigarettes, but none of that matters. He could have given you a small peck on the cheek and it would have been the greatest kiss you had ever shared with anyone. You feel his breath against your cheek, a shaky exhale, and before you can stop yourself, you find yourself fisting his shirt, fingers clenched so tightly you will never be able to let go again. That is all you ever wanted, all you ever prayed for, and now that you have it, you never want to lose it again.
Eventually, Frankie pulls back ever so slightly and whispers against your lips, “Summer, that’s what you taste like,” and it’s such a corny line it should have you rolling your eyes, but instead you crane your neck and seal your lips to his again, high from the feeling of your tongue in his mouth. He huffs and pushes up against you, but he’s not close enough – there’s still so much space between you. You reach up and grab the collar of his shirt and pull him even closer, but suddenly rough hands grab your arms and hold you back forcefully.
“I wanna go first.” It isn’t a request, that much is clear.
Frankie pulls back and smiles down at you, his face soft and open, searching for any indication you don’t want to do this anymore. Even though you’ve never wanted anyone as much as you want him right now, the thought of him watching while Joel fucks you, utterly in control of the situation, makes you clench around nothing. Frankie can tell – he switches back to his neutral mask in the matter of a second. “You didn’t do as you were told …”
It isn’t a threat, but it might as well be.
Joel hooks a thumb into your mouth and pulls down your bottom lip. You try to bite him again, but he is prepared this time, holding you in place. “Let me come in her mouth at least.”
Frankie grabs Joel’s wrist again and pulls his hand away from your face. “No.”
You have never heard him use that voice before, that kind of voice that makes you snap to attention, that voice that commands people to follow him. You shift, trying to rub your thighs together, but it’s just a primal reaction you have no control over. All your attention is on Joel trying to pull his wrist out of Frankie’s grip, and on Frankie holding him in place, the muscles in his arm straining.
“I’m going to sit back down, and you’re going to fuck her.” Frankie’s voice is so calm it sends a shiver down your spine. “Slowly,” he adds, letting go of Joel’s wrist. “And if you make her come before I tell you to, there’ll be consequences.”
Every muscle in your body tightens. You’re too wound up to rationally consider what Frankie is proposing, too wound up to think about how much you want this and what that might mean. You glance behind you to catch Joel’s reaction, to see if he’s just as affected by Frankie’s proposition as you are, just in time to watch him lick his lips.
“And I get to fuck her however I want?”
Frankie’s gaze shifts to you. It’s nothing more than a glance, a quick check-in, and you nod, just as quickly, just as imperceptibly.
“Yes,” Frankie answers.
Next thing you know, you’re up on the lounger, knees and hands braced against the soft pillows, faded from long summers under the hot Texan sun, focusing on the sounds of Joel unbuckling his belt. You feel your throat tighten at those sounds, leather scraping against skin, metal clicking against metal, but your mouth is too dry to swallow. Joel unzips his jeans, then there’s a rustling sound, followed by a deep, needy groan. It’s enough to make your heartbeat stumble over itself with excitement. You try to turn your head and glance behind you to see what he is doing, but Joel catches your movement and forces your head down, firm grip at the back of your skull.
“Stay.”
To your right, you hear the sound of Frankie shifting in his chair. He doesn’t intervene.
Joel grabs the bunched-up fabric of your dress with both hands and begins to tear it with quick, jerking movements, ruining it. It falls away and glides down to the ground where it comes to rest next to the lounger, leaving you almost completely exposed to Joel. And Joel doesn’t hesitate. He pushes the thin fabric of your underwear aside and sinks into you with one deep, calculated thrust you can feel in your chest.
Your fists clenched, your head hanging low, you try to take it, but his thrusts send shudders of pain up and down your body. It’s not unbearable, and it shouldn’t surprise you; he fucks like he does everything else – rough and with an edge of violence to it – but the stretch is uncomfortable, and the thrusts are greedy, so much so you wish he had surprised you after all.
“Slow down,” Frankie orders, and you lift your eyes to him. A muscle twitches in his jaw, and when Joel does as he’s told, he watches you closely, searching your face for any signs of the discomfort lessening. You shift, your body adjusting to the feeling of being so full, and when Frankie asks, his voice low, “You okay?” you realize that you are. You’re more than okay, actually. Two more shallow thrusts from Joel and you’re completely relaxed.
“Yeah,” you answer, just for Frankie to hear and his lips quirk up in a smile.
“We’re good,” he tells Joel.
Joel’s open palm lands against your ass cheek catching you unawares, as does the moan you let loose at the sudden burst of pain. Frankie swallows, or at least you think he does – you can’t be sure with your eyes flutterin shut. You push back against Joel, eager for more, pulling him deeper inside of you with a greedy clench.
“The way you’re clenchin’ ‘round me makes me think you’ve never had dick before.”
Joel’s voice comes out restrained, the words are punctuated by more slaps, one harder than the last. Their meaning is lost on you as you are reduced to a babbling mess, unable to retain anything that is happening outside of your desire for him. You gush around his cock, hot and wet and wanton, and somewhere between the thrusts and the grunts, you hear a chortle.
“Greedy little thing, aren’t ya.”
That chortle is what pulls you back into yourself, and you risk another glance behind you, hoping that this time he will let you see. He does, and you watch him pound into you, both hands on your hips, denim pulled just low enough to free his cock, dark hairs curling just above it, streaked with bulging veins. He has one knee braced against the lounger, one foot firmly planted on the ground. You almost hate yourself for being so affected by that sight, but you can feel everything tighten, your body begging for release.
“Fuck,” you groan, your voice breathy. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m gonna –”
With a condescending smirk, Joel reaches for your clit. “Go ahead, sunshine.”
You close your eyes, focusing on how you’re clenching around him. You’re so, so close, you can almost taste the release on your tongue. Your mouth hangs open, a moan begins to emerge from someplace deep inside your chest and –
Joel’s hips falter and still, and you can feel yourself flutter desperately around him, but it’s not enough. You glide along his length, coming down from the edge, frustration blossoming in the pit of your stomach. Joel’s fingers rest uselessly against your swollen clit, still as the rest of him, and whenever you try to grind yourself against them, his touch lessens.
“Joel …,” you whine, opening your eyes to look back at him.
It’s not Joel your gaze lands on. It’s Frankie, standing right there next to the lounger, one hand on Joel’s head, fisting his hair, pulling on it so his chin is raised high, his neck exposed, a thick vein pulsing near its base. Joel is breathing heavily, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t try to free himself, while Frankie looks down at him, darkness clouding his features.
“You’ll do as I tell you or I won’t let you come inside of her.”
Frankie lets go of Joel’s hair with a shove to drive home the point. Even now, freed from his restraint, Joel doesn’t fight back. He glares at Frankie as if he’s imagining beating him bloody, but he does like he’s told, removing his fingers from your clit to dig them back into your hip. He picks up the pace again, thrusts a little shallower than before, drawing a sigh of relief from you, scratching that undefinable itch Frankie restraining Joel like that triggered in you. That itch you don’t want to examine too closely right now but that you know you’ll return to.
Frankie pats Joel’s shoulder, two firm raps against the straining muscles. “Good boy.”
You clench so hard around Joel he must notice, but he doesn’t remark on it. He resumes the steady snapping of his hips while your eyes fall shut and drop down to your elbows, those two words floating around your mind like an echo.
Good boy.
A desperate little whimper escapes you, one at least Frankie seems to hear, because he runs two knuckles up and down your spine in a movement that is meant to calm you but shoves you toward the edge with a violent jolt. He must know what he’s doing to you, there is no way he hasn’t noticed. And it should fill you with shame, it should make you resent him, the way you lie bare before him, showing him the most vulnerable parts of yourself, but it only makes you want him more. You open your eyes to find him standing right next to you. This close, you can see how tight his pants stretch over the bulge you hadn’t noticed before, how you think you can even make out a dark spot of precum forming against the fabric. You lick your lips.
“Frankie, please.” Your voice is rough and broken, laced with desperation.
Joel shoves into you so violently you feel the thrust in your throat, but he doesn’t say anything.
Frankie leans down and places a soft kiss against your temple, then runs his thumb across your furrowed brow. “Just tell me when you’re ready.”
You whish you could tell him you’ve been ready ever since he suggested Joel should fuck you, but you can only laugh, a broken sound followed by a hard swallow.
Frankie straightens his back, his eyes bright with excitement. “I see.” He makes his way back over to his chair and sits down, the wood groaning beneath his weight. “Go ahead, Joel.”
Joel picks up the pace, making every thought, every doubt you might have, instantly disappear from your head. His fingers find your clit again, rubbing you hard, and after that it doesn’t take long at all. After that, you let out a deep moan and push back against Joel so hard it makes him lose his rhythm, but it doesn’t matter. You’re coming, pulling him deeper into you as he fucks you through it, letting you squeeze him as you sink deep into pleasure, losing track of your body’s movements.
You come back to the surface when you’re spent, and everything feels sore and tender, but Joel doesn’t stop. There is a burning between your legs now and you hiss, reaching back for him.
Frankie is there next to you again, cupping your cheek. You have no idea when he approached, what made him leave his role as spectator this time, but you instantly relax when you feel his touch on him. “Just a little more,” he murmurs, calming you. “You can take it, I know you can.”
You watch him squeeze the bulge in his pants, and giving it another, harder squeeze when Joel grabs your wrist and pins it to the small of your back. The proof of how much he’s affected by you is enough to chase away the discomfort and rekindle the fire in the pit of your stomach. Your eyes glued to the bulge in Frankie’s pants you wonder what it would be like to feel him thrust into you, chasing his release, to feel him take what he needed from your body, fueled by how much you want him in return.
Finally, Joel stills and spills into you, groaning as his orgasm sparks through him. But your eyes are locked to Frankie’s, as neither of you dares to look away.
THE OUTCOME
The neon sign of the motel casts deep shadows into the cabin of Frankie’s pickup. Your gaze is fixed to the flashing letters, promising vacancy. A car rushes past, its tires whispering against the concrete, still hot from the Texan summer day. You try to ignore the tightness in your stomach, but when a door falls shut with a rattling bang somewhere nearby, you feel that sound like a punch to your gut.
“That was fun,” Joel says from the backseat. He stretches his legs, kicking his foot against your backrest. “If you ever wanna repeat that …” He lets the offer hang there in the air between you.
Frankie grabs the steering wheel tightly, the wood groaning under his skin. “We’ll know where to find you,” he finishes the sentence.
Joel braces both hands against your backrest and leans forward so his lips are close to your ear. “I think I’ll stick around for a while, so if you ever wanna grab some drinks, sunshine …”
Only half-listening, you reply, “Whatever,” fighting down the nausea you’ve been feeling ever since you climbed into Frankie’s truck.
“Whatever,” Joel echoes with a huff, opens the backdoor, and climbs out. “You know, I’ve had better,” he adds, before shutting the door with a loud bang.
“Hey!” Frankie barks, but you shake your head, and Frankie lets him walk away.
It doesn’t matter what Joel says to you. You couldn’t care less. Because as soon as Frankie starts the car, he’ll drive it straight over to your place, say goodnight without really looking at you, and tomorrow, he’ll pretend that none of this happened. Just like he did before. And as much as you hate that thought, you’re going to have to live with it.
As Joel climbs the stairs to the second-floor landing of the motel, you say, “You’ll want to take me home now, right?” It’s best to get it over with as quickly as possible.
The wood groans again, but this time from Frankie loosening his grip. He takes off his cap and runs his fingers through his ruffled curls. You don’t look at him, but you study him out of the corner of your eye, trying to read his face. He puts the cap back on, then slings his arm across the backrest of your seat. “Actually … I was hopin’ you’d come back to my place.”
The nausea you’ve been feeling pricks up its ears with interest and then curls up into a tiny ball, tugged away in a corner of your stomach. “Oh?” you say. And that’s all you manage before he closes the distance between you, his left hand cupping your jaw, his lips brushing against yours, tentatively, asking for permission. You give it to him by fisting his shirt, pulling him toward you, by smiling against his lips, exhaling all the tension in one short giggle, full of relief. He strokes his thumb across your cheek at the same time as you open up for him so he can brush his tongue against yours. You find yourself mirroring him, hand on his cheek, thumb running over the stubble there, relishing the feeling of him being so close.
You pull away first, and he follows you, mouth slightly open, chasing another taste. “What are we gonna do at your place? Do you have more friends who want to fuck me while you watch?” you ask, high from the feeling of his tongue in your mouth, from that promise that he won’t forget about any of this in the morning.
A neon flash lights up Frankie’s face, once, twice, as you watch his cheeks darken with a flush. He takes his time, studying your face closely. “No,” he says, his voice a low rumble, so unfamiliar it draws a smile from him, “I want to fuck you myself.”
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If you enjoyed the fic, I'd love to hear from you 🥰 feel free to leave a comment or drop into my inbox anytime ...
dividers by @saradika-graphics
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a-v-j · 5 months ago
Note
HEY HEY HEYYYY
...
What.. erm... what does Averse- o-or- Snap- or Anti (I only remember this three AM SICK OKAY-) erm-
What do they think about... y'know... the balance of the multiverse... yk.... like- do they respect it? Or try to? (Absolutely not trying to promote a new UTAU called BalanceTale which will be an absolute masterclass... no... absolutely not... I'm... just asking this randomly.... it would be a coincidence if a AU this perfect existed....)
- Absolutely not Lalone, random anon, I swear it's not them it's me- I'm not them- I-.... bAnAnAs
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hydrobunny · 18 days ago
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i remember it all too well
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tags: angst, post breakup, flashbacks, journalist reader, angst angst angst, it's all too well come on now
a/n: happy belated birthday sae itoshi
your world pauses the day sae itoshi is spotted with a new girlfriend.
the photos are blurry, paparazzi shots taken from at least one building over. it doesn't matter. you would know the curve of his arm around a waist in a thousand different lives.
you have to admit she fits him. even as your hands shake, you can't deny that they look happy- something the two of you weren’t so good at.
it doesn’t stop you from harboring too-many amounts of memories all the same.
you met him before he had joined the world of the superstars, but after he had already been something greater. (you think that if you had met him before everything, you two would’ve fared better.)
by the time you two had locked eyes, he was already changed. something inside of him had shifted, turning away from everyday life and facing immortal legacies instead. you had falsely believed you held a place in it.
you should’ve known better, right from the very first words he spoke to you.
“you’re not supposed to be here.”
you pause, looking up from your phone to face the voice.
cold eyes glare down at you, beautiful in color. the boy - because he can only be around your age, barely leaving the teenage years at most - they belong to is just as annoyingly beautiful. you think you should recognize him.
“excuse me?” you ask, offense rising. “i know where i’m supposed to be.”
his eyes only narrow. “is this another shitty tactic? i said i was done with interviews.”
“good for you, dude.” you roll your eyes, pushing past his shoulder. “why anyone would ever want to interview you, i have no idea.”
as you leave, you can feel his gaze on your back.
you blink, shaking yourself out of whatever that was. it's not good to linger on the past. (your therapist had told you that.)
still, she has also told you that one couldn't grow without recognizing what exactly they had to grow from.
perhaps that's why you find yourself rummaging in your bedside drawer for a deeply buried box, the ends of your fingers numb.
when you open it, you’re met with nothing but a handful of flimsy keepsakes. from fraying bracelets to notes to polaroids. all of them are snapshots of a relationship no longer yours, artifacts of what used to be your heart.
in each flashback, sae itoshi lingers.
the next time you met him, you had learned that he was supposedly a household name. (never in your household, though.)
the great hope of japan’s future -despite what he himself had to say about the country.
you’re a little embarrassed by what happened. still, you refuse to take all the blame.
“sae itoshi,” you blurt out. “you’re here.”
those stunning eyes flicker to you, and he actually pauses. recognition actually stops him.
“you’re the one who was lost,” he says, mildly. “not pretending to not know me this time?
you flush. “in my defense, i didn’t know you. i don't do the sports section.”
he raises an eyebrow. “then why am i still seeing you?”
before you can respond, your boss comes rushing through the hallway, sweat beading on his brow.
“itoshi-san!” he blusters, barely sparing you a glance. “we’re so glad you’re here! is the intern bothering you? your interview is in the next room over, so if you just want to follow me- we're so grateful you decided to give us your exclusive.”
something twitches on sae’s face. “intern?”
offense rears its head in your chest. “what-”
“i’ve changed my mind,” sae interrupts mildly. he turns to you, taking hold of one of the many pens lying on your desk.
ask you and your boss watch in bewilderment, he leans down and scrawls something on your notepad.
“she’ll get the exclusive,” he says, straightening back up. “when she isn't an intern anymore.”
and he turns and walks out of the building, leaving nothing but a string of numbers on a sticky note.
the same sticky note rips between your fingers. once you start, you can't stop yourself, until all you're left with is a pile of bright yellow scraps.
you move onto the next item. a wiry black wristband; one half of a forever missing set.
you had been dating sae itoshi for exactly one month. all of your friends still thought it was as some long-standing elaborate joke. at certain times, you couldn't believe it yourself either.
despite it all, despite every little memory you can pore over for hours at a time, you can’t pinpoint the exact moment when things changed.
it’s a strange truth, one you’ve struggled to come to terms with- but it's a truth. if someone were to ask you when your relationship with sae soured, you wouldn't be able to say.
perhaps it wasn't a singular moment. maybe it was a long time in the making, like how a banana slowly browns- until one day, it’s rotted.
either way, one form of heartbreak or another, the truth was this:
you and sae itoshi had ended.
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